Holy cow! Has it really been over a month since I have blogged? It has been a whirlwind, to say the least.
CT adjusting unbelievably well. Everything that was said to be a "problem behavior", has turned out to be a non-issue. He is mainstreamed ALL DAY , rather than the 3 hours he attend the special needs program at his previous district. He has music, and Phys Ed, Art, and computer lab with all the "normal" children. They have excepted him, and he has thrived.
CT is having speech for an hour 3 times a week. Were were told that he could only tolerate 10 min's at a time.
He has had minimal contact, only twice, with his biological brother and previous foster parents. This is a huge surprise to us. They INSISTED that we be committed to a weekly visit in the beginning, and then NO LESS THAN once a month. We, of coarse, agreed to this without question. A gift for CT to know his brother, and the family that cared for him for 3 years. However, we call and it is not a warm reception. They have never called Ct to see how he is. Never talked to me about his transition. Ct has questioned where they have gone. I fear he thinks they have dropped off the planet!
Now, those of you who have adopted from the HHS system, know that you are required to have in home visits frequently after the child is placed....NOT US! They dropped him, and we haven't seen anyone since. INFURIATES ME TO NO END! We have scheduled visits that get cancelled every time. There has been no documentation provided to doctors or school, that says Andy and I have guardianship of this child. No emergency releases signed. NOTHING.
Yes, I have called. Yes, I have spoken with supervisors.
I think that part of the problem is that people write these children off as disposable. No body has ever vested anything into them. His IEP for school stated that he could be mainstreamed into a normal kindergarten classroom, BUT "he is up for adoption, so he would be disrupted anyway."
So, why bother, huh? Why give this child a better start. Why show him "normal" childhood behaviors? Why let him build relationships? Instead, lets label him Mentally Retarded, and put him in a class room with non-verbal children. Lets keep him secluded from others his age.
Andy and I have begun the fight to remove the labels. To allow our son to participate in all things. The Christmas Concert. The bowling with his kindergarten. The story-time in Library.
We reward his good behaviors, and let him no that bad behaviors make us unhappy. That they DO NOT get rewarded. We treat him like a normal 5 year old (of coarse with some modifications). This boy...our boy...could be so much. And will surprise everyone.
Of that I am sure!!!
So, Andy and I await support systems. We have inquired about groups for parents like us. In home resources for us. Not waiting for state help. CW approval. we muddle through, doing what parents do... The best they can for their kids.