We're Thankful He's Here!!!

And, he's ours!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

In the home stretch...till placement, anyway.

Here it is, Mid-November already. WOW!!!
Zippin right along, huh?

Well, we had a team meeting last Tuesday. It was decided that Ct would be with us full time NOVEMBER 20th!
You got it!
THIS FRIDAY!!!

We are filled with emotions.

Excitement..it is really happening for us. A years worth of time and effort nearing completion.

Fear...we have yet to work out all the kinks. School (he will be starting after Thanksgiving Break). The dynamics between CT and our 3-year-old,Gabrielle. She has a hard time finding where he fits, and how she should have a relationship wit him.

Cannot possibly start to feel any smoothness until a routine is established. Consistency is achieved. Both CT and Gabrielle will benefit from this. That I am sure.

CT has been with us for two weekends, and a mid-week overnight last week. He is starting to test his limits. Tantruming a little. Saying "NO!" to Andy and I. Together we are standing strong. Unified in our expectations and discipline. Clearly giving him limits.

We are also finding how much of a love bug he is. Always giving a little snuggle. He kisses my forehead and strokes my face while I am reading to him at at bed time.

We have started to research his long term diagnosis'. Understand all of the SPED jargon. They speak Latin sometimes, I think. I need to understand EVERY WORD. EVERY THERAPY. EVERY TREATMENT OPTION. This will allow Andy and I to better advocate for him.

PHEW!
Still so much to do. So, as my title reads... "In the home stretch till placement, anyway".
It is just the beginning.
Just the tip of the ice berg.

CHAPTER 2!!!!

The Fast and the Furious!

I have hardly had time to catch my breath, let alone Blog.
Thanks to you all for your comments and encouragement. It is soooo important in this whole process, and appreciated more than you know.

Things are moving fast and furious.
Because CT can not understand why he is not "home with Mama and Dada", we are stepping things up. What would be a placement of January 1st...is now BEFORE Thanksgiving. We are excited about that. Nervous as well. Trying to speed the "powers that be" along with all the details. School...pediatrician..stuff. We have another team meeting on Tuesday, and all the details will be hashed out.

CT has no focus on school, cries for us at night, and has almost completely detached from his foster family. What good is it for him to prolong the inevitable. Once he is placed permanently, we can build consistency again. Get him back on track at school. Feeling safe in his forever home.

It is hard, however, to wade through all the "MUCK".
The feelings of the Foster family, DHHS' input, psychiatrists, and teachers.

PHEW!
That has been the biggest learning curve of it all.

I will be leaving shortly to go get our lil man! Can't wait to spend the weekend with him.
I will let you all know how it goes....

A whirlwind

I am still reeling from our weekend whirlwind.

We picked CT up at the foster families house at 8:00 a.m. His "Nine" (foster Mama) was sick. A terrible head cold and stomach thing happening. So, they suggested we keep him for the day, rather than our scheduled 2 hours.

OK!!

On Thursday afternoon his team ( Foster parents, DHS worker, and Life skills worker) got together with CT to explain exactly who we are, and what we are to become. So, when we picked him up Saturday I was greeted with a great big hug, and a "Hi Mama".

*SNIFF*

A "Hi Da" for Andy.

*Sniff, Sniff*

We kept him the whole day. Played in his new room. Carved a pumpkin with all the kids, read a story, and just hung out together.
IT WAS AB FAB!

Gabrielle is not sure if she is sold on the idea of a 5 year old sibling. She will warm up to it once she realizes that he is sticking, and she needn't compete. We have some alone time activities scheduled for her, and all of the kids.

We brought him home on Saturday evening.

HE STARTED TO SCREAM!
Did not understand why he wasn't staying at his new house. With his new Mama and Da. His new sisters and brothers.
He had to be pried off my body. Begging for me to take him back.

OMG!!!

I left in a puddle. I am not good at leaving my kids. Especially like that. I called him when I got home. he was doing better. Asked me if I could get him when his eyes were open after night.
I said "yes, Buddy. I am yours! I will always come for you!"

We did.

We talked to him about how he needed to stay there until we could get him a new school. Gave him all sorts of pictures ...WITH US! Told him that his bed will be there waiting, and we would pick him up for a visit on Tuesday. He had an easier time at drop off on Sunday.

I called him today, to see how school was for him. He said it was good, and asked me if I would be there for him when his eyes opened from night. I told him that when he returned from school, both HIS Da and HIS Mama would be waiting!

And we will!

And there he stood!

We FINALLY got to meet our CT.

We waited for 15, excruciating, minutes for the bus to come. Freezing cold. Shivering. More from nerves, I'd imagine.

It pulled up in front of his foster home, we could see him in the window. The only red head! His little winter hat was on crooked. Smiling out the bus window.

He ran up to his foster Mom, said "Hi". Then right over to ask "who you?" We told him that we were friends of "Nine" and stopped by to visit him.

He brought us inside. Sang to us. Told me his colors. Showed me his room. Ate his lunch.

That was it. 45 min's later we left him to have his therapy. Do some errands with "Nine". We drove away from our son. He waived from the window. Not knowing who we are ,exactly. Just that we are new friends.

We will play again this week, and I CAN'T WAIT!!!

The Time Has Come!

Had our last Q & A, yesterday. Received CT's most recent diagnosis', PET's and IEP's from school. Also medication management info.

They have given us until Thursday (more if we need it) to come up with an answer. Do we want to move forward with this boy, or pull-out. Wait for another child.

Yesterday's meeting went very well. Didn't answer all the questions we have, that simply isn't possible. No one can tell the future. We have a limited history available.

They have started to mainstream CT this week. At our suggestion. He is starting out having lunch and a 10 minute play time with the others. We'll see how that goes for him. He would have an instant peer group here at our home.

Then, the last question posed to Andy and I was this..."What is the deal- breaker for you? What would absolutely change your mind?"
I started to cry.
We all have the same wish...hope for CT. That he find a forever home. One that can be the best for him.

So, Thursday, at 9 am, we will receive a call from CT's worker. I will give her OUR ANSWER.



Here's a hint....IT'S A BOY!!!

Another few thoughts....

Thanks for all of your comments yesterday, I appreciate the advice. This is NOT a decision to be made lightly. Nor do we want to be hasty in the out come.

Today I contacted our school district. I want to SEE our Special Ed department. I have also requested copies of IEP's and PET's to better understand CT's need in the educational system. You can't fight for something you don't understand.

I have also been doing a whole lot of research on his diagnosis' (plural). How he may have relationships with peers. How adjustments May be made! This is all a guess, of coarse. No one can predict his future. No one is absolutely sure what is "wrong" with him. He has a whole array of family history. From Bi-Polar to MR. Autism and OCD.

I do know that he is a delightful young boy. VERY loving with his foster family. Willing to help. BUT, he has cycles of good and bad. Much like Bi-polar.

3 weeks good...up a few times a week at night, can self sooth, happy as a clam.

1 week of down cycle. Tantrums. Up 4 or 5 times a night. Self harming, sometimes destructive.

None of this is scary, or unexpected. It is hard to make a decision based on the fact that we have never met. Don't have a relationship. Can't witness it. Haven't seen him interact with our children. OR ANY CHILDREN!

Maybe I am over thinking.

He is a boy.

A special needs child never given the chance to interact with children. Never been involved in a family with siblings. They don't take him to the park or playground (for fear he may misbehave), he is not mainstreamed. He doesn't have family functions. No one has ever fought for him (in my opinion). He is treated like a "special needs" child. Like you see in the movies. Secluded. With just his Foster Mom, therapist, or teacher.
How is he to learn "appropriate" behaviors. How is he to learn to play with peers?

I realize that any way you slice it...the transition period will be hard for us all. My whole family unit. My time will be split even farther. Gabrielle will have a bit of a bent nose. Time management will need to be worked on...and I will probably feel like I shall go out of my mind.
For some time.

But, in the end...he is a boy. In need of a loving forever family. One who is not afraid of a fight.

We are a strong family. A great family. With a lot of love. We are not afraid of a fight.

Hell, that is our everyday!