Friday, January 1, 2010

Holy Cow! It's 2010!



















Holy cow!
Has it really been over a month since I have blogged?
It has been a whirlwind, to say the least.

CT adjusting unbelievably well. Everything that was said to be a "problem behavior", has turned out to be a non-issue. He is mainstreamed ALL DAY , rather than the 3 hours he attend the special needs program at his previous district. He has music, and Phys Ed, Art, and computer lab with all the "normal" children. They have excepted him, and he has thrived.

CT is having speech for an hour 3 times a week. Were were told that he could only tolerate 10 min's at a time.

He has had minimal contact, only twice, with his biological brother and previous foster parents. This is a huge surprise to us. They INSISTED that we be committed to a weekly visit in the beginning, and then NO LESS THAN once a month. We, of coarse, agreed to this without question. A gift for CT to know his brother, and the family that cared for him for 3 years. However, we call and it is not a warm reception. They have never called Ct to see how he is. Never talked to me about his transition. Ct has questioned where they have gone. I fear he thinks they have dropped off the planet!

Now, those of you who have adopted from the HHS system, know that you are required to have in home visits frequently after the child is placed....NOT US! They dropped him, and we haven't seen anyone since. INFURIATES ME TO NO END! We have scheduled visits that get cancelled every time. There has been no documentation provided to doctors or school, that says Andy and I have guardianship of this child. No emergency releases signed. NOTHING.

Yes, I have called. Yes, I have spoken with supervisors.

I think that part of the problem is that people write these children off as disposable. No body has ever vested anything into them. His IEP for school stated that he could be mainstreamed into a normal kindergarten classroom, BUT "he is up for adoption, so he would be disrupted anyway."

So, why bother, huh?
Why give this child a better start.
Why show him "normal" childhood behaviors?
Why let him build relationships?
Instead, lets label him Mentally Retarded, and put him in a class room with non-verbal children. Lets keep him secluded from others his age.

Andy and I have begun the fight to remove the labels. To allow our son to participate in all things. The Christmas Concert. The bowling with his kindergarten. The story-time in Library.

We reward his good behaviors, and let him no that bad behaviors make us unhappy. That they DO NOT get rewarded. We treat him like a normal 5 year old (of coarse with some modifications). This boy...our boy...could be so much. And will surprise everyone.

Of that I am sure!!!

So, Andy and I await support systems. We have inquired about groups for parents like us. In home resources for us. Not waiting for state help. CW approval. we muddle through, doing what parents do... The best they can for their kids.

13 comments:

Melissa said...

He is so sweet and adorable! I knew you would be the best mommy for him!!
My kids really like him and talk about him and Griffin and Gabi all the time. :)

Lisa said...

Over the moon for y'all! Great to hear from you too.

It was 4 months before a CW monitored our home when J was placed. 5 months before I received any paperwork stating that she was supposed to be in my home. 5 months before I received insurance approval so that I could take her to the dr. I was calling constantly but nothing was happening. It took a huge, screaming, meltdown fit from me to get the ball rolling.

It was so frustrating. Hoping something happens soon.

Lisa said...

P.S. Nebraska finally had to hire a private provider to monitor the placement. 2 years and 3 months after J arrived I received a phone call from the state saying that they were sending a caseworker to monitor J's placement. This was a year after the adoption was final! Argh!

Kelly said...

So good to hear from you. Glad things are going so well. He is precious. So glad he has you. Keep up the good work and enjoy the fact that there aren't people in and out of your home constantly reminding him he is a foster child. My kids get settled and relaxed just in time for the SW to come back around and remind them they could leave here at anytime. Even though they are not leaving they don't trust that, esp. when she comes and brings back the memories of her picking them up the other 6 times they were moved.

cloudmaster said...

So glad to hezr things are going well. Thanks for the heads up as to what to expect. We are beginning to get that kind of treatment from a new CW.

Dia por Dia said...

So good to hear from you again and so happy things are going so well.

I gave you an award so come on over to my blog and claim it!

Mama Drama Times Two said...

So good to hear CT is settling in and doing well at school. How lucky he is to have you advocating for him. Sorry social services are leaving you high and dry... The bureaucracy of adoption is just infuriating.

obladi oblada said...

What a cutie. Im sorry the system and the fps are so being so bad to you and CT. Im glad that you are not sticking with his "labels". My kids had a lot of unfair and completely untrue labels put on them too. They are pretty normal.

Marie said...

What an uplifting post! So GLAD to hear that things are going well!!!!

Evansmom said...

This sounds like such a win-win situation! What a great post!

Eva Carper said...

I'm glad he is doing so well, but sorry you are having to deal with so many issues with the system!!

Andrewjoselin said...

soooooooooo sweet............




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He is so cute and pretty good to see! i pray for your family to be happy always.



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