Friday, November 28, 2008

I had dreams of "Matthew" last night.

He is the young boy we are in hopes of adopting.

I dreamt of Christmas gifts, and watching him play in the snow with our two year old. Of snuggling with him at night, and combing his curly black hair. 

I am not so naive to think that there won't be a period of adjustment. We are only a little informed about his past, so who knows what kind of baggage that will bring.

I am terrified of rejection.

I have a natural bond with my biological children. One born out of nose wiping, and spit-up cleaning. Nursing and rocking. The bond of safety that I have provided for them since birth.

"Matthew" has not had this safety. He has bounced around from house to house.  Been through...I don't know what. How can he trust anyone? How can I let him know that he has is forever home??

2 comments:

blessedmomto7 said...

I have birthed a child and adopted both newborns and older children-I will be honest, I was in fear of the same as you BUT...ALL 3 experiences are equal. I just can't explain it but I literally feel no different-except I didn't have to gain weight with the last 6! God will take care of all your insecurities, rest in HIM!

Corrine said...

Thank you for your encouraging words. In my heart, we know this is what is meant to be. It will be a wonderful experience, and the perfect addition!