Monday, September 28, 2009

It happened!

It happened!
The disclosure meeting.
Andy and I headed there at 9 this morning. Me from home, him from the Farmington campus.
It lasted just under 2 hours and everything under the sun, was discussed. We now know every scrid of his history.
CT has been lucky enough to have the same Guardian Ad Li tum since before entering custody. He also has had only one foster home placement. This is GREAT for him, but will make transitioning that much harder.
CT's foster Mother was there. Gave some insight into everyday life with him. None of it scared me. My only really concern...well, question that CT has had limited exposure to other children. They keep him in the "SPED" room in school, he has his play time when others are inside. That is the way his routine has worked out.
In our home he would have instant siblings. 7 days a week.
I have said this before, BUT, i just want to be what this boy needs. I want to do right by him. Give him the best of a family. My children are great kids. But, they have always known this life. A FULL life.
We meet for a question and answer session on Thursday. Then...
we think. And weigh. And ponder.
Hope to find wisdom to make the "right" choice.
How do you know what's RIGHT?
What's best?
How do I know I am enough?


obladi oblada said...

Im glad the meeting finally happened. I would just write all questions and concerns down, also a list of things you just cannot handle, and be honest with yourself. After you have the answers to those questions you will be able to decide easier...but its still not easy. Good luck!!! If its right, you should feel a little at peace with your decision.

Begin - writing, yoga, and more said...

I agree with obla. Take time to think and question and imagine. Be unflinchingly honest with yourselves as you discuss.

Then see what feels comfortable to you.

There probably is no "right" or "wrong." Just different possible futures from here.

Hope you feel guided and supported in having a decision for all of you!

Dia por Dia said...

I think you just know and it is ok to have doubts and questions and concerns. Without knowing the specifics I personally think it can be helpful to have a child who has only had one placement. The consistency and even attachment to those folks can be really helpful in building attachment to you plus you have one place/source for lots of the important history especially as questions come up if you can maintain a relationship with that foster family. I think it can really help in the transition especially if you can maintain a good relationship there. I wish you the best as this moves forward.

jojo said...

I came over from your hubs blog and have some catching up to do..but.. I just think you will know, in your heart the answer is there. Best wishes.