Thanks for all of your comments yesterday, I appreciate the advice. This is NOT a decision to be made lightly. Nor do we want to be hasty in the out come.
Today I contacted our school district. I want to SEE our Special Ed department. I have also requested copies of IEP's and PET's to better understand CT's need in the educational system. You can't fight for something you don't understand.
I have also been doing a whole lot of research on his diagnosis' (plural). How he may have relationships with peers. How adjustments May be made! This is all a guess, of coarse. No one can predict his future. No one is absolutely sure what is "wrong" with him. He has a whole array of family history. From Bi-Polar to MR. Autism and OCD.
I do know that he is a delightful young boy. VERY loving with his foster family. Willing to help. BUT, he has cycles of good and bad. Much like Bi-polar.
3 weeks good...up a few times a week at night, can self sooth, happy as a clam.
1 week of down cycle. Tantrums. Up 4 or 5 times a night. Self harming, sometimes destructive.
None of this is scary, or unexpected. It is hard to make a decision based on the fact that we have never met. Don't have a relationship. Can't witness it. Haven't seen him interact with our children. OR ANY CHILDREN!
Maybe I am over thinking.
He is a boy.
A special needs child never given the chance to interact with children. Never been involved in a family with siblings. They don't take him to the park or playground (for fear he may misbehave), he is not mainstreamed. He doesn't have family functions. No one has ever fought for him (in my opinion). He is treated like a "special needs" child. Like you see in the movies. Secluded. With just his Foster Mom, therapist, or teacher.
How is he to learn "appropriate" behaviors. How is he to learn to play with peers?
I realize that any way you slice it...the transition period will be hard for us all. My whole family unit. My time will be split even farther. Gabrielle will have a bit of a bent nose. Time management will need to be worked on...and I will probably feel like I shall go out of my mind.
For some time.
But, in the end...he is a boy. In need of a loving forever family. One who is not afraid of a fight.
We are a strong family. A great family. With a lot of love. We are not afraid of a fight.
Hell, that is our everyday!
tiny update on Jack
1 week ago